A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that
this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of
a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, was to say,
"Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal
to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man.
The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped
immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah," he rode
off very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was
heading toward a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the
donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just
kept going. "Oh, no... Bible!....Church!...Please Stop!!" shouted the
man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and
closer to the cliff edge. Finally, in desperation, the man said a
prayer. "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off
the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."

The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.

"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

A Preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and
discovered a dead donkey in the church yard. He called the
police.
Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police
referred the Preacher to the health department.
The health department said since there was no health threat
that he should call the sanitation department.
The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule
without authorization from the mayor.
Now the Preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call
him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to
deal with, but the Preacher called him anyway.
The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant &
rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me any
way? Isn`t it your job to bury the dead?"
The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to
direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my
job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of
kin first!"